Spotted at a local Wendy's last night:
The restaurant was promoting its Ultimate Chicken Grill sandwich as being "Now Tastier."
Why? Because there wasn't enough room on the sign for "Not As Bad As You Remember."
Monday, October 29, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Can you tell me how to get ...
... to a World Series by winning 21 of 22 games (albeit against NL competition), and then lose three straight to open the Fall Classic?
That's what the Colorado Rockies have done. Their overpowering opponents the Boston Red Sox, of course, pulled a 4-3 ALCS victory out of somewhere themselves after being down 3 games to zero to the Yankees not that many years ago. But as incredible as that seemed, I think I'd be even more stunned for the Rockies to do that to the BoSox this time around.
Oh, well, if nothing else, during game one of this World Series after the Sox had already scored 12 runs en route to a 13-1 win, FOX used a very familiar ditty to accompany a graphic detailing the Red Sox's offensive success. Anybody else catch that?
"One two three FOUR five (brief pause) six seven eight NINE ten, eleven twelve*.
Repeated, in a slightly higher key:
"One two three FOUR five (brief pause) six seven eight NINE ten, eleven twelve*."
* Always in kind of an off-puttingly seductive tone, didn't you think?
If Boston did find a way to collapse through the rest of this series, maybe late in Game 7, FOX could arm a clumsy chef with two stacks of Boston cream pies at the top of a flight of stairs.
Or (and it's a big stretch that this Series could even get back to Fenway Park), maybe a certain trash-can resident (oh no, a cheap and obvious joke) could go to Fenway to see another Green Monster.
That's what the Colorado Rockies have done. Their overpowering opponents the Boston Red Sox, of course, pulled a 4-3 ALCS victory out of somewhere themselves after being down 3 games to zero to the Yankees not that many years ago. But as incredible as that seemed, I think I'd be even more stunned for the Rockies to do that to the BoSox this time around.
Oh, well, if nothing else, during game one of this World Series after the Sox had already scored 12 runs en route to a 13-1 win, FOX used a very familiar ditty to accompany a graphic detailing the Red Sox's offensive success. Anybody else catch that?
"One two three FOUR five (brief pause) six seven eight NINE ten, eleven twelve*.
Repeated, in a slightly higher key:
"One two three FOUR five (brief pause) six seven eight NINE ten, eleven twelve*."
* Always in kind of an off-puttingly seductive tone, didn't you think?
If Boston did find a way to collapse through the rest of this series, maybe late in Game 7, FOX could arm a clumsy chef with two stacks of Boston cream pies at the top of a flight of stairs.
Or (and it's a big stretch that this Series could even get back to Fenway Park), maybe a certain trash-can resident (oh no, a cheap and obvious joke) could go to Fenway to see another Green Monster.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
And the Whoop-de-doo goes to ...
On tonight's new episode of "The Simpsons," school bully Jimbo Jones notes - before a school ceremony is held to recognize Lisa as "Student of the Millennium" - that the award-show season keeps starting earlier and earlier.
I couldn't agree more. But still, one dream of mine would be to create and add my own award show to the mix - "The Faint Praise Awards." The statuette would be known as a Whoop-de-doo.
Categories would cover a wide spectrum of subjects. Any given year, categories could include "Best Film Ever Made that starred Pauly Shore," "Most Appealing Side Dish at a KFC Buffet," or "Least Inebriated Green Bay Packer Season-Ticket Holder."
I certainly need some more categories to make for a three-hour show; however, I'm also hoping to get Billy Crystal (or maybe at least a guy named Billy from Crystal, Minn.) to do an opening musical number.
I couldn't agree more. But still, one dream of mine would be to create and add my own award show to the mix - "The Faint Praise Awards." The statuette would be known as a Whoop-de-doo.
Categories would cover a wide spectrum of subjects. Any given year, categories could include "Best Film Ever Made that starred Pauly Shore," "Most Appealing Side Dish at a KFC Buffet," or "Least Inebriated Green Bay Packer Season-Ticket Holder."
I certainly need some more categories to make for a three-hour show; however, I'm also hoping to get Billy Crystal (or maybe at least a guy named Billy from Crystal, Minn.) to do an opening musical number.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Hold the ice
At a McDonald's yesterday, I saw a sign hanging above the soda dispenser to advise patrons that the restaurant does not allow guests to bring in paper cups from a previous McDonald's visit for more free refills. What tyrants!
But someone had to have done it once, or twice, or a million times, or else the sign wouldn't be there. For whomever might do something like that, I don't want to know them. 1) They're clearly too tight with their finances to be any fun for a day or night on the town, and 2) It'd all just be too gross and disgusting. What's next? Would they start re-using paper napkins that they'd soiled during a previous meal?
But someone had to have done it once, or twice, or a million times, or else the sign wouldn't be there. For whomever might do something like that, I don't want to know them. 1) They're clearly too tight with their finances to be any fun for a day or night on the town, and 2) It'd all just be too gross and disgusting. What's next? Would they start re-using paper napkins that they'd soiled during a previous meal?
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
How did they get tickets?
The 2007 playoffs for Major League Baseball begin today.
The FOX network won't begin its coverage until the start of the American League Championship Series Friday, Oct. 12, but I'm already beginning to wonder which celebrities we might see in the stands from FOX's regular prime-time lineup. Certain celebrities from the FOX lineup, oftentimes from the network's newest fall shows, always seem to land tickets for the playoff games (maybe they're the only ones who can afford the scalpers' prices?) and the FOX cameras, God bless 'em, always seem to be able to find those celebs to show their faces on TV even though there might be close to 60,000 fans at a game. And the FOX baseball play-by-play announcer always takes those opportunities to not only note the names of those celebrities, but also talk about their FOX shows. Amazing!
So whom could we expect to see in the stands at Fenway Park, Jacobs Field or Yankee Stadium later this month? Maybe Brad Garrett (I think his post-"Raymond" show is actually entering its second season) or his former co-star Patricia Heaton (aka Debra Barone) who is in a new show with Kelsey Grammer (now if he happens to land tickets for a game at Fenway Park, you'd have to figure he'd be stopping by a certain bar either pre-game or post-game). And aren't Wayne Brady and Jeff FOX-worthy both on the network now? Then again, maybe Foxworthy would refuse to be shown on camera this postseason, with his home state's Braves out of the field?
Somehow, somewhere, one or more of the aforementioned celebs should be expected to be shown on camera during a FOX baseball telecast this October. Least likely to be seen? Well, I have too much respect for John Walsh to think he'd stoop to that kind of promotion. But what about others who have appeared on FOX's Saturday night lineup?
Like maybe some drunk drivers or prostitutes who have recently been busted on "Cops," maybe sitting at a game, handcuffed to their seats? We'll have to wait and see.
The FOX network won't begin its coverage until the start of the American League Championship Series Friday, Oct. 12, but I'm already beginning to wonder which celebrities we might see in the stands from FOX's regular prime-time lineup. Certain celebrities from the FOX lineup, oftentimes from the network's newest fall shows, always seem to land tickets for the playoff games (maybe they're the only ones who can afford the scalpers' prices?) and the FOX cameras, God bless 'em, always seem to be able to find those celebs to show their faces on TV even though there might be close to 60,000 fans at a game. And the FOX baseball play-by-play announcer always takes those opportunities to not only note the names of those celebrities, but also talk about their FOX shows. Amazing!
So whom could we expect to see in the stands at Fenway Park, Jacobs Field or Yankee Stadium later this month? Maybe Brad Garrett (I think his post-"Raymond" show is actually entering its second season) or his former co-star Patricia Heaton (aka Debra Barone) who is in a new show with Kelsey Grammer (now if he happens to land tickets for a game at Fenway Park, you'd have to figure he'd be stopping by a certain bar either pre-game or post-game). And aren't Wayne Brady and Jeff FOX-worthy both on the network now? Then again, maybe Foxworthy would refuse to be shown on camera this postseason, with his home state's Braves out of the field?
Somehow, somewhere, one or more of the aforementioned celebs should be expected to be shown on camera during a FOX baseball telecast this October. Least likely to be seen? Well, I have too much respect for John Walsh to think he'd stoop to that kind of promotion. But what about others who have appeared on FOX's Saturday night lineup?
Like maybe some drunk drivers or prostitutes who have recently been busted on "Cops," maybe sitting at a game, handcuffed to their seats? We'll have to wait and see.
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